NOW WHAT?

Now I entrust you to God and the message of his grace,
which is able to build you up and give you an inheritance
among all whom God has made holy.

[Acts 20:32 CEB]

My interim assignment came to a close on August 3.

I could have extended it, had I chosen to do so, but it was time. I felt that after a year and a half I had taken the people as far as I could. Any more time among them would have lulled them – and me – into a sense of complacency and a false sense of security.

I will say more about my time as Interim Rector of St. John’s Episcopal Church in Youngstown in a later post sometime soon.

Today is about me and my feelings of unsettledness.

This past week has felt odd.

For the first time in eighteen months, I had no sermon to prepare, no meetings to attend, and literally, no place to be.

For most of my adult life I have adhered to schedules. I don’t consider myself a very disciplined person unless there is a task to be completed, a deadline to meet, or a goal to pursue. External calendars, agendas, and timetables have ruled my existence.

Notice that I wrote “external.” If I were to impose those obligations on myself, I would find some way to get around them. By nature I am a procrastinator, even more so when I have set the end date or time. I am just not very self-disciplined.

About the only thing I don’t ignore are the medications that I must take at certain times of each day, otherwise I jeopardize putting my health at risk.

However, my home office is a wreck!

There are countless unread or half-read books lying around. I keep telling myself I’ll get around to them but something more appealing gets in the way. Scrolling through social media is one cooperative culprit.

I have a stack of thank-you notes that I should be writing. Quite frankly, I could complete that task in less than an hour. Have I even begun? I’ve thought about it…but NO!

Even composing this reflection, which I promised myself I would sit down and complete days ago, has taken a back seat to doing nothing.

I feel as if I have appropriated as my own the quote popularized by A. A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh, “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

So I ask myself, how do I combat this lethargy? Perhaps today is a start.

I promised myself that once my interim was over, I would get back to blogging on a regular basis. I have pushed myself in the past and actually accomplished what I set out to do. The platform I use, WordPress, provides daily writing prompts. However, I don’t find those very helpful. Hopefully, by making this public declaration to post at least once a week, I will keep myself accountable.

If any of you reading this have any other advice or suggestions, I welcome your responses.

Thank you for reading this first attempt at consistency.